How to know if you're in an unhealthy relationship

By Aylin Barquera (article columnist).

Healthy relationships are often built on trust, love and mutual respect between two people.  But to identify an unhealthy relationship isn’t always as easy, since we don’t usually see the signs of the broken boundaries, and disrespect for one another. In this article, you will learn to identify the characteristics of  healthy and unhealthy relationships, so that you can decide if you feel either in a great relationship with someone else or in an untrustworthy relationship with somebody.

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Characteristics of a healthy relationship

• Good communication is key to a healthy relationship, because it allows the people involved in it to be open and talk about their feelings, taking into consideration values like trust, empathy, respect, and honesty.

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• Compromise in a relationship with someone shows interest and determination to make it work and it is essential to be willing to accept the other person’s point of view different to yours.

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• Trust is one of the few things in a relationship that can be given at any moment but it can also be ephemeral and taken. Real trust in a relationship is all about relying on people, and knowing they will always be there for the things that matter. But it must not be mistaken with co-dependency on a person.

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• Individuality is one of the most important aspects in a close relationship, because it is important to never forget who you are, based on your partner’s likes. Being an individual in a relationship can often be one of the most difficult things to do, but if you’re in the right place that person won’t encourage you to become someone else.

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• Honesty is the foundation and support in a relationship, without it there’s no trust and therefore there’s no healthy relationship. You know you’re being honest with someone you care about when you aren’t afraid to express your feelings with that person.

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Characteristics of an unhealthy relationship

• Control over a relationship can be the first sign of an unhealthy one. This control can be given by manipulating one person in the relationship to make them do something the other person wants, this a toxic trait that can be dangerous to mental health.

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• Hostility is another sign of manipulation in a relationship and therefore a toxic trait, this happens when one person in a relationship antagonizes the other and makes them feel bad about it. One example of this is the modern term “gaslighting” which is another form of manipulation.

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• Dependence is one of the most difficult things to identify if you’re the one being dependent on the other person. This often happens due to an obsessive bond, and the feeling “you can’t live without the other person” because of the insecurity you feel being on your own.

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• Intimidation is a dangerous manipulation in a relationship in which one person of the relationship controls aspects of the other's life by making the other partner fearful or timid of the other person. Threats to break-up or violence are current forms of this abuse.

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• Disrespect in a relationship is bound to break whatever bond is between two people, because without respect there’s no love, and there’s no values involved making the relationship unmeaningful, hurtful and chaotic.

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Whichever is your case, it's important to learn to identify these traits in a relationship to build healthy bonds with the people you most care about.

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If you[re interested in Mental Health, these tips might help you!

APA References:

Characteristics of Healthy & Unhealthy Relationships | Youth.gov. (n.d.). https://youth.gov/youth-topics/teen-dating-violence/characteristics